When God Winks at You

During our business Christmas Party this year, I met a new friend that had heard about our adoption process.  She wanted to hear all about it because her daughter was also in the process of adopting.  During our visit she asked if I had ever heard of "God Winks" and while I certainly had felt the power of God in my life I had never heard it called that. I later found out that the next day she drove over 3 hours to buy me the book called "When God Winks at You" by Squire Rushness.  It is a book about how God speaks directly to you through the power of coincidence.  God has given us many of these "winks" thru our process, where we just know he is saying that this is what he wants us to be doing.  One such example came just a couple days ago.  Our adoption case got assigned to a new judge in Russia that our agency had not dealt with much.  We had been told that the last family that went before her on Christmas Eve also had their own business and she drilled them for 4 long hours to make sure they were prepared to add child to their family.  This worried us a little and we were given this families e-mail to correspond about what we could expect.  The judge also requested a huge amount of additional paperwork.  We had 1 week to complete everything and have it to the agency to make our court date.  This would not normally put me in panic mode except there documents that had to be prepared by some of the people we deal with the business. One of these important documents had to be written by our CPA.  It happens to be that our CPA is in TX, and with technology it should not be a problem except that the document had to be apostilled (a seal by the secretary of state in the state it was wrote).  The problem is that TX has a 10 day turn around on apostilling.  How was I going to get an original document from TX appostilled and to OH in 7 days?  I prayed about how on earth we could possible get this done and I happened to notice that the family that had gone before the same judge that I had e-mailed once was from TX.  I e-mailed this family and asked if they happened to know of a way to get this paper apostilled in less than 10 days so we could make our court date.  This perfect stranger said "just overnight it to me and I will go hand deliver it and get it done".  Wow! This person that I had corresponded with in one e-mail was willing to go to a governmental agency and wait in line to get this stamp for our family!  This family was busy preparing to leave for Russia in 2 days to bring their new son home.  Normally I would never send our financial information to a complete stranger but I just knew that this kind stranger was an answer to my prayer.  Short of driving to TX myself in a snowstorm I don't really think our document would have made it in time and we would have missed our court date.  I am very happy to say that I found out today that all our newly assigned documents made it and it looks like we will be clear for court on the 26th. Thank you so much Heather.  You were the answer to my prayer that day.  

Our dreams

I had mentioned in an earlier post that Chad and I had been having the same dream about adopting and did not realize it.  I will share a little about that.  I (Kelly) had been having dreams that I was in an orphanage and would meet our child but could never see her face.  I had those dreams for years but knew Chad was not really on the same page about adoption for us so I didn't talk to him about the dreams.  I had begun to pray to God that if adoption was not something that was right for our family that he take it off my heart.  I just did not want to have the same feelings when it was too late in life to do anything about it.  I could not imagine there being a child that God had for us and never finding her.  I bought adoption up to Chad occasionally during our marriage but we always said we would pray about it and if it was what God had for us we would know. Some time ago I finally mentioned the dreams to Chad and as soon as I did his face got white and he got very quiet.  He told me a couple days later that he had been having the same dream but just could not figure out where he was and why he could not understand the language that he heard.  In his dreams he had been walking in a hallway and up a long staircase, but he could never get to the top.  Chad then began to wonder if God really was trying to show us something.  Then one Sunday we sat in Sunday School and our teacher gave us a lesson that was about following God's path and trimming everything else from our lives.  The teacher had brought in a peach tree branch for demonstration and is sure made in impact.  Chad felt as God had put this lesson in his life at this time to help show him what he had planned.  Later that day in church Chad had an overwhelming sense that God had a child he wanted us to go find. He pulled my into our wonderful pastors office and told me what God had been revealing to him and thus our journey began.  Fast forward several months.  While in the orphanage we were going to the room where we would spend our time playing with Josie and on our way we opened a door and there was that hallway from his dream with the long stairway that he could never get to the top of. Only this time he did reach the top, and I got to see our Daughters sweet face.  What a wonderful day that was!

It became so clear

Last night while sleeping I had one of those moments when everything became so clear.  I will back up start from the beginning.  I knew from the time I was about 12 years old that I wanted to adopt a child someday.  I have always felt that all children come from God and he has a plan for each of them and knew that if I had a family and home that I would provide that to a child.  Chad and I talked about this many times and we always left is as we would pray about it and ask God to show us his plan.  There were many little things that began so show both of us that is something we would like to look into. One example of this is that we both had been having the same dream for a long time but had no idea where it was or why we couldn't understand what anyone was saying.   A little over a year ago we decided that we would look into adoption a little farther.  We began to talk to people and request a lot of information.  We were getting to the place that it just may really happen and quite honestly I began to get cold feet.  I just didn't know how I was going to be able to be a good mother to the 3 boys we have while doing all the paperwork required let alone leave them to go oversees. Not even to mention the added duties and dividing our time that happens when adding another child to our family.  Then came that crazy week when Eric had surgery to get his tonsils out and tubes in.  A few hours after we got him home from the hospital Tyler came down with H1N1, and wow was it hard to be Mama that week.  I was trying to keep a recovering little one, away from a pretty sick boy.  And of course there was wild man Wesley in the mix.  Chad was a huge help but after they just got to feeling a little better he really needed to go on an emergency trip.  I prayed many times that week that God take the feeling of wanting to adopt off my heart if it wasn't right for our family.  I just couldn't see how we would handle another child.  The following Monday, Tyler was back to school and I took Eric and Wesley to daycare so I could have a few hours by myself.  I decided to go to town to begin my Christmas shopping.  On the way to town I prayed that if God really did want us to adopt a child that he would give us a sign.  All day I had a feeling that I have never had before.  I just had a sense that God was right there with me.  I didn't get much shopping done as I was so distracted with my thoughts and feelings.  While in Target I saw some Christmas music and thought maybe that would cheer me up.  Without even looking at the songs I put one in my cart that said Christmas Praise Music. That evening was crazy as ever with boys running in every direction.  I put my new CD in and remember thinking that it was way to hip hop for me right now and was really giving me a headache.  I would have normally turned off music that was too much as I really don't like extra noise but for some reason I left it on.  I got the boys in the shower.  I can remember as clear as it was yesterday, I was loading the dishwasher and I told God that his sign better be a big one after the week I'd had.  At that very moment our house got absolutely silent and this song came on. The tears came down my cheeks and I knew at that very moment that God had a child for our family and it was up to us to find her.  Since that day I have never had a doubt that this is what is right for family.  What came to me in my sleep last night, so clearly that I had to get up to verify it on my calendar and my journal, was that the very day that I heard this song on my new CD is the exact day that our little Josie was born.  Oct 19, 2009.